How You Might Respond to Potential Cult Conversation Stoppers

These days, I rarely tell people I meet, acquaintance or colleagues about my shunning experience. Not that I would like to keep it a secret or even hide my past, but since I’ve been out in the world, I’ve had several negative experience. I’ve been hurt by well-meaning people that have invalidated my experience with a few ignorant words.

Today, I really want to be my authentic self and wear my freedom story on my sleeve, but I dread hearing these comments again. I think the issue is that identifying as a “cult survivor,” means that we need to become a “cult educator.” Which can be a tall order when you’re in the process of recovery. Ideally, I would be able to tell people about myself without a 30 minute PowerPoint presentation on the BITE model.

In an effort to help myself be prepared for this I invented Reasoning from the Scripture style responses to get out of talking with these ingorant or shitty people.

You’re fine now, so like what’s the problem?

Whew! I’m glad to know that I appear to be “fine now.” Really, I’m much better than when I was first out and had to deal with the fact that I was never going to be in the same room with my parents again, I’d never get to hang out with my best friend watching Jane Austen movies or get to see or talk to the dozens, no hundreds, of people that I spent nearly all my waking hours with. But you’re probably right, I should just get over that quickly.

My [neighbor, coworker, classmate, relative] was a Jehovah’s Witness and they seemed normal. So I’m surprised to hear it was like that for your.

I can understand that. So have you heard of high control groups called “cults?” The thing about them is that the people that are in them, don’t know that they are in a cult. They will even do their best to appear to be normal to outsiders so that they can befriend potential recruits. Are you still in touch with your [neighbor, coworker, classmate, relative]?

My [neighbor, coworker, classmate, relative] was a Jehovah’s Witness and they went to [Birthday or Christmas parties, or watch R-rated movies] so why did you have to leave just so you can do that?

Hmm...Do you remember this persons name and address? I think someone may need a Shepherding Call from the Elders. Could you help me fill out a “df-asap-666” form?

I don’t have a good relationship with my parents either.

I’m sorry to hear that. Would you like to cry about it together while we watch Apostacy?

I had a rough childhood too.

I’m really sorry to hear that. Would you like to get drunk together and watch Apostacy?

But is it really a cult? You didn’t live in a remote island commune or were forced to drink kool-aid.

WAIT! WHUUUUT?!? YOU’RE TELLING ME THERE’S CULTS THAT HAVE BEACHES! COOOOOOOL! AND DRANK SUGARY LIQUIDS!!! AMAZZZZINGGGG! WHERE CAN I FIND DIS?

Don’t Mormons shun people too?

I don’t know I’m not a Mormon. [Follow up with a super dramatic slo-mo eye roll]

My [brother’s girlfriend’s cousin, friend from High School, friend on FaceBook] was also shunned from the Mormons, but then [he, she, they] [went to college, moved away, met someone, learned how to do art] and they’re fine now.

Hmm...it sounds like you didn’t really know that person well. But I’m glad to hear they’re doing fine now. The thing is, there’s not any one thing someone can do to recover from the years of religious abuse and mind control. [You might also add] Those are great suggestions, I’ll consider those thanks!

You must not have been that close with your parents, if they don’t talk to you anymore.

[Remember that no one can tell you what your relationships were like as a Witness. The householder here is ass-uming and you should make them look like the ass that they are.] Jehovah knows I wish that were true! Things would be so much easier for me I we weren’t so close, I’d have to learn to sleep alone now. But I’m figuring it out. I even took a bath all alone for this first time in my [your age] years just the other day and put my big girl underwear all by myself.

I don’t get it. If you didn’t want to be shunned by your family, why didn’t you just stay in?

Because I would’ve killed myself. [Maintain eye contact until they are uncomfortable by their stupid question.]

Jehovah’s Witnesses aren’t as bad as [other cults], you got to wear pants, go to the doctor and attend a public school didn’t you?

[This response tells us that the householder doesn’t know one goddamn thing about cults. They’re probably in one themselves, so the best approach here is to use humor to lighten the mood enough for you to get away from them.] Oh boy! done ay! ay remembuurr granddad let grandmama try on is wawk trowsers! it were ayy hoot a-watchin' huurr a-tryin' ta figure huurr way in! huurr leg done got awful wrong howwl ayn' she done fell raheet off the pawch! joel-boy darn near choked on his chew frawum hollerin! grandmama were so embarassed, she snatched the cawn ay were shuking ayn' beat me with it raheet there!

If it’s really that hard to [recover, deal with being shunned, start your life over], why don’t you just go back?

[Open you Bible to Proverbs 26:11 and read out loud.] Then ask the following question: Have you ever ate your own vomit? How did you feel by that? [If they answer yes, excuse yourself and write them down as a Do Not Call.]

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Well there you have it! A bunch of nonsense to get you out of talking the real shit of #cultlife.